I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, "Tut, Tut!"

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!"

I said to my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' She said, 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.'

I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."

In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.