"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"

The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do" asks the patient. The doctor says "I'm mad at my neighbor!".

A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.