There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. "Peanuts. Popcorn."

I bought my wife a little Italian car. A Mafia. It has a hood under the hood.

I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!