There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.

My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!"

A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single!"

Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to do a movie with Farrah Fawcett?" "$50,000" They called back, "How about $20,000?" I said, "I'll pay it!"