A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.

A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.

This man dresses like an unmade bed.

"What's the latest dope on Wall Street?" "My son!"

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.

Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.