I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There is water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake."
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, "Tut, Tut!"
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. "Peanuts. Popcorn."