My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.

Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!"

My brother-in-law had to give up his last job because of illness. His boss became sick of him.

My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.

I've got enough money to last the rest of my life ... as long as I die about four o'clock this afternoon.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.