My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?

The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here, King!"

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.