I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.

Now, the band that inspired that great saying, "Stop The Music!!"

I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'

He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.

The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"

I don't fly on account of my religion. I'm a devout coward.

In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.