I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.

The more I think of you, the less I think of you.

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.

I miss my wife's cooking - as often as I can.

The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.