I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.

I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.

I've got two wonderful children - and two out of five isn't too bad.

My wife loves to shop at Bloomingdale's. I bring her mail there twice a week.

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.