I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!

Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!"

I miss my wife's cooking - as often as I can.