College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter."
There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, "Huh. I lost 100 pounds!"
You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.