This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!

Those bellhops in Miami are tip-happy. I ordered a deck of playing cards and the bellboy made fifty-two trips to my room.

All my wife does is shop - once she was sick for a week, and three stores went under.

A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"

The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"

A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? "I was ironing, and the phone rang!" "What about the other ear?" "Had to call the doctor!"

I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.