If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, "Let's get up here before we get killed!"
"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"
When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win.
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.