It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

Now, the band that inspired that great saying, "Stop The Music!!"

Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy!

A little man is running a jewelry store. A man runs in saying, Okay, take my watch, put on a new band, install a new battery, clean the case, install a new crystal, and tune it up. I will be back in a half hour for it. Thanks! and runs out the door. The little jeweler says, C-C-C-Come in?

In a blackout, a Polish man was stuck on an escalator for two hours. I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?" He said, "because I was going up!"

A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"

I just made a killing in the stock market -- I shot my broker.