She has a wash and wear bridal gown.

I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.

Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.

I've got enough money to last the rest of my life ... as long as I die about four o'clock this afternoon.

Take my wife... Please!