A little man is running a jewelry store. A man runs in saying, Okay, take my watch, put on a new band, install a new battery, clean the case, install a new crystal, and tune it up. I will be back in a half hour for it. Thanks! and runs out the door. The little jeweler says, C-C-C-Come in?

I just made a killing in the stock market -- I shot my broker.

The more I think of you, the less I think of you.

I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.

My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.

I bought my wife a little Italian car. A Mafia. It has a hood under the hood.

Three weeks ago, she learned how to drive. Last week she learned how to aim it.