When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'
The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
What is a home without children? Quiet.
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.