I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.

Three weeks ago, she learned how to drive. Last week she learned how to aim it.

A guy complains of a headache. Another guy says, Do what I do. I put my head on my wife's bosom, and the headache goes away. The next day, the man says, Did you do what I told you to? Yes, I sure did. By the way, you have a nice house!

A little man is running a jewelry store. A man runs in saying, Okay, take my watch, put on a new band, install a new battery, clean the case, install a new crystal, and tune it up. I will be back in a half hour for it. Thanks! and runs out the door. The little jeweler says, C-C-C-Come in?

A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"

The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.