I was walking down the street, and I found a man's hand in my pocket. I asked, "What do you want?" "A match" "Why didn't you ask me?" "I don't talk to strangers."

If I had blood, I'd blush.

A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.

A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!

The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner.

Now, the band that inspired that great saying, "Stop The Music!!"

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.