When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
This man dresses like an unmade bed.
College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.