My wife loves to shop at Bloomingdale's. I bring her mail there twice a week.

I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.

A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?

Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."

My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

During the war an Italian girl saved my life. She hid me in her basement in Cleveland.