Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.