I asked a Jewish man, "Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?" He said, "Yes", and walked away.

I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.

Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?

A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!

His motto is "Love Thy Neighbor". His neighbor is an 18 year old hooker.

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.