Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.
2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!"