"What's the latest dope on Wall Street?" "My son!"
A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
My wife lost all her credit cards, but I'm not going to report it. Whoever found them spends less than she does!
Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?