I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off!
The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"
I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can't wait to exchange.
My brother-in-law had to give up his last job because of illness. His boss became sick of him.
He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.