We aim to please... You aim too, please.

I went out with a girl last night. She wasn't a Lana Turner. She was more of a stomach turner.

This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!

2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!"

I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.

A man calls a lawyer's office. The phone is answered, Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz and Schwartz. The man says, Let me talk to Mr. Schwartz. I'm sorry, he's on vacation. Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz. He's on a big case, not available for a week. Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz. He's playing golf today. Okay, then, let me talk to Mr. Schwartz. Speaking.