A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!

The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do" asks the patient. The doctor says "I'm mad at my neighbor!".

I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.

A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."

My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.

I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. "Peanuts. Popcorn."

My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, "Where are you going?" My wife said, "I must be late, everyone is all coming back!"