A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.

Those bellhops in Miami are tip-happy. I ordered a deck of playing cards and the bellboy made fifty-two trips to my room.

My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.

My wife is the sweetest, most tolerant, most beautiful woman in the world. This is a paid political announcement.

If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?