My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!

A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"

Take my wife... Please!

She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, "Tut, Tut!"

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!"