I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!"
While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"
I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.