My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There is water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake."

I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.

My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.

My son is 21. He'll be 22 if I let him.

I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off!