My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?
The hitter asks the owner to give him a big raise so he can go somewhere he's never been, and the owner says "You mean third base?"
The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.