When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
A Polish man in a helicopter. Goes up to 800 feet. Down it comes! What happened? "It got chilly up there, so I turned off the fan!"
Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
Was that suit made to order? Where were you at the time?
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!