A priest is sent to Alaska. A bishop goes up to visit one year later. The bishop asks, How do you like it up here? The priest says, If it wasn't for my Rosary, and 2 martinis a day, I'd be lost. Bishop, would you like a martini? Yes. Rosary, get the bishop a martini!
I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
What is a home without children? Quiet.
Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy!
"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"
Two kangaroos were talking to each other, and one said, 'I hope it doesn't rain today. I hate it when the children play inside.