Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!"
"What's the latest dope on Wall Street?" "My son!"
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"
Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.