When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!

My horse's jockey was hitting the horse. The horse turns around and says "Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!"

Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.

A doctor says to a man, "You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, "How is your love life since you have been running?" "I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!"

You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.