The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"
My son is 21. He'll be 22 if I let him.
I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner.
"What's the latest dope on Wall Street?" "My son!"