I said to my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' She said, 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.'

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.

A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.

Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.

A doctor says to a man, "You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, "How is your love life since you have been running?" "I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!"

The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner.