Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.
He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.