My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

I've got enough money to last the rest of my life ... as long as I die about four o'clock this afternoon.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'