Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.

Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

A man goes to a barbershop and asks, How many ahead of me? Five. The man leaves. He comes back the next day and asks, How many ahead of me? Four. The man leaves. He comes back the next day and asks, How many ahead of me? Six. The man leaves, and the barber says to another, Follow that man! The man comes back and says, He goes to your house!

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.

"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Limp!"