Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.

He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.

You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.

A Polish man in a helicopter. Goes up to 800 feet. Down it comes! What happened? "It got chilly up there, so I turned off the fan!"