When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win.

A guy complains of a headache. Another guy says, Do what I do. I put my head on my wife's bosom, and the headache goes away. The next day, the man says, Did you do what I told you to? Yes, I sure did. By the way, you have a nice house!

She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.

2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!"

Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.