There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.

Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."

I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.

I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can't wait to exchange.

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.