I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
If I had blood, I'd blush.
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Limp!"