Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.

Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.

I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!

We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.

Farrah's dressing room was next to mine. There was a little hole in the wall. I let her look.

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.