Was that suit made to order? Where were you at the time?

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.

A tough guy told me, "I'll bet you $10 you're dead." I was afraid to bet him.

A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.