I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'

In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.

My brother-in-law had to give up his last job because of illness. His boss became sick of him.

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.

My wife lost all her credit cards, but I'm not going to report it. Whoever found them spends less than she does!

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!