I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

I've got enough money to last the rest of my life ... as long as I die about four o'clock this afternoon.

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.

Let's get up here before we get killed!

My brother-in-law had to give up his last job because of illness. His boss became sick of him.

The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.