The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.

The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do" asks the patient. The doctor says "I'm mad at my neighbor!".

I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can't wait to exchange.

Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.

My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.

Now, the band that inspired that great saying, "Stop The Music!!"