The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.

A doctor says to a man, "You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, "How is your love life since you have been running?" "I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!"

She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

In a blackout, a Polish man was stuck on an escalator for two hours. I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?" He said, "because I was going up!"

My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.