The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here, King!"

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.

I said to my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' She said, 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.'

Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.

There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.

Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.