The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here, King!"

I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'

Those bellhops in Miami are tip-happy. I ordered a deck of playing cards and the bellboy made fifty-two trips to my room.

I just made a killing in the stock market -- I shot my broker.

Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.