The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here, King!"

A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"

During the war an Italian girl saved my life. She hid me in her basement in Cleveland.

The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"

I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.

My horse's jockey was hitting the horse. The horse turns around and says "Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!"

Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to do a movie with Farrah Fawcett?" "$50,000" They called back, "How about $20,000?" I said, "I'll pay it!"