The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.
I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'