Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
The patient says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"
My son is 21. He'll be 22 if I let him.
Those bellhops in Miami are tip-happy. I ordered a deck of playing cards and the bellboy made fifty-two trips to my room.
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"