There is no spark like the one ignited under the aspirations of a new graduate.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.

While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?

My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.