Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?

My horse's jockey was hitting the horse. The horse turns around and says "Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!"

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.

A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!

My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick".

I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, "Which way do I go?" But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...