A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single!"

When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter."

A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."

I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.

I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?

Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.

My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.