A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single!"

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!"

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.

In a blackout, a Polish man was stuck on an escalator for two hours. I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?" He said, "because I was going up!"

This man dresses like an unmade bed.

Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!