I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.

I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.

My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, "Where are you going?" My wife said, "I must be late, everyone is all coming back!"

My wife and I got remarried. Our divorce didn't work out.

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!