A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.

Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.

I think the world of you...and you know what condition the world is in today.

I went out with a girl last night. She wasn't a Lana Turner. She was more of a stomach turner.

Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.

A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.