A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"
When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter."
His motto is "Love Thy Neighbor". His neighbor is an 18 year old hooker.
2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!"
She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.
Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.