A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"

I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can't wait to exchange.

A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.

I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry.

My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.

We aim to please... You aim too, please.

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.