The patient says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
My wife lost all her credit cards, but I'm not going to report it. Whoever found them spends less than she does!
Three weeks ago, she learned how to drive. Last week she learned how to aim it.
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."