Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.

I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.

The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here, King!"

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

Now, the band that inspired that great saying, "Stop The Music!!"

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.