What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.

I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.

I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.