I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.

When it comes to work, there are many who will stop at nothing.

Those bellhops in Miami are tip-happy. I ordered a deck of playing cards and the bellboy made fifty-two trips to my room.

How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O

Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?

I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.