I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.

While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."

I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!

I don't fly on account of my religion. I'm a devout coward.

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.