I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.

My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.

My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.

Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!

He doesn't get ulcers - he gives them.

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.